More than you would ever want to know....

Warning...you may not want to read any further! I am sharing some information that is both disgusting and personal. You may want to read the next person's post on your blog roll instead of this one..especially if you are not a female!:)

I have debated over the last few weeks, in my few moments of sanity and calm whether or not to share what has been going on in my life the past few weeks. There are many reasons for my hesitation, both the disgusting personal nature of this post and also the fact that I will probably always be known as "the girl who had the..." and also, many terms discussed even with my sweet husband describing my condition as painful and horrible, could not even be discussed with him or my Dr. without one or all of us erupting in laughter over the terminologies used.

I have told many of you I would call over the past few weeks and I simply have not...not because I did not want to, but I have not been doing especially well to say the least. And to be honest, this is not a pity post! God is good, I am blessed and this circumstance proves that point with each passing hour as Earle and the boys have blessed me in more ways that I can say.

Anyway, lets get down to it, shall we? I have always struggled with random bouts of constipation or diarrhea, and for those of you who know me well, I am always eager to laugh at and share these experiences at my own expense.  About 7 weeks ago,however, this went a bit further than a laughing matter.  At that time, I had what I thought was a severe case of the hemorrhoids. At first it was just a bit annoying, but as the weeks passed, I was spending hours on the toilet each day in pain and I was constantly uncomfortable even off of the toilet. I called my family doctor and initially told them that I had to have something to help my hemorrhoids...which he prescribed immediately and I then drove an eight hour trip each way to Mobile, AL. to visit my sister. I thought things were getting better...even though I sat on Ben's "critter pillar"(neck pillow) the whole way up and back in the car.  I was constantly on the toilet just trying to get some type of comfort or relief the entire time I was at my sister's. Even still, I thought things were on the upswing. A couple more weeks passed and if I would go a day or two without having to have a bowel movement, I thought things were going great. Then I would have a bowel movement, then I would be on the phone to my family doctor asking if he needed to see me...but still getting a call back from the nurse prescribing me foams and creams to 'insert' that would probably do the trick. It was getting out of hand!

I was spending at least 3 to 4 hours a day on average on the toilet, Ben was putting Collin down for his naps, and pretty much running the place. Though Ben was being the best helper a mom could ask for, this was really really getting in my way and completely unfair to him! The climax hit two weeks ago on Saturday when I was on and off of the toilet, literally for 14 hours. Yes, that is right, I said 14 hours! I woke up that next Sunday morning, Ben had been throwing up all night, and I was still in excruciating pain crying and just ready to jump threw a window. At this point for hours after a bowel movement I would have excruciating burning and spasming for 2 to 4 hours that was absolutely unbearable and worse than either of my children's births. Anyway, this particular Sunday morning..as Earle kept asking me why I had not seen a Doctor...I was hurting too badly to again explain that I had called several times...I drove myself to the ER. When I say drove, this was a serious thing because I could not sit or lay at all, I could only sit on a toilet or stand.  A very sweet Nurse Practitioner and a nurse asked me what they could do to help me. They told me that pain meds would only constipate me and that since I had driven myself they could not really give me a shot of anything to knock me out. So I asked if they could give me anything local. They said they could give me a couple of big shots of Lydocaine in the affected area. Without hesitation, I said, "Absolutely!!" So they gave the two large shots...probably the most painful shots I have ever had, but about a minute later I was able to regain my composure and had some relief! Although these ladies had seen the affected area, they were still going on the assumption that this was all caused by my hemorrhoids. They told me that I needed to get in to see a surgeon.

After some advice from a friend, the next day I called a Colorectal Doctor and they were able to get me in for my initial visit on Tuesday. Once again, Earle was staying with the boys so I could go, so I had to drive myself. I was sobbing the whole way. Once I got to the office I could not even stand still long enough to fill out the paper work, I was sobbing, I looked and sounded like a huge mess. Crying at the receptionist, and then even more in the Dr.'s office. I'm telling you, the worst pain I have ever had. The doctor called me into his office for a conference before the exam. I explained what had been going on and told him that I had to have some relief before I left there today, and I hoped he could help me. He told me that he was going to need to examine me. I walked into the other room and did exactly what the nurse told me to. If you have never been to a Colorectal doctor's office, let me tell you, the exam is more than a little humbling! 
After the exam, the doctor came back into the room. He told me that I did not have a chronic hemorrhoid problem, but that my problem was something else. I had what is called a severe/chronic Anal Fissure.
Click on the highlighted part to read...but basically it is like when you give birth, women can tear where you have the baby toward where you have a bowel movement...well with an Anal Fissure, you tear from where you have a bowel movement toward your tail bone.  I just learned a huge lesson about going straight to a specialist! Anyway, the doctor wanted to try and treat it with the correct medicines for a week or so, and if it was not getting much better, we would have to do a surgery called a Lateral Internal Spinctorectomy. Yes, I said Spinctorectomy...its okay you can laugh.

I decided if by Friday things were not much better, I would give the go ahead on the surgery. Well, Friday got here that week and I woke up with a horrible vomiting stomach virus. The kind you cannot even lift your head up off the pillow without vomiting. I was sick all day, and all night. On Saturday morning I felt like the virus was getting better. A couple hours later I started have some severe cramping on the left side of my back and I passed a kidney stone. Later that evening I was in excruciating fits of pain after the virus started giving me diarrhea and I had a few hours of horror. So Monday morning I was calling that doctors office every two minutes until someone answered. They were able to get me in for the surgery Monday afternoon. I felt somewhat validated that the doctor told Earle that after he had seen inside with the camera's and everything my fissure had been a really bad case and that I had definitely needed the surgery. Somehow I felt less wimpy.

My mom was able to come on Tuesday evening and that has been a big help. I also need to thank Rochelle for watching my kids on a moments notice and Brenda, Earle's mom, and Elice, his sister, for helping so much with the boys when they were here last weekend. Unfortunately I passed another kidney stone today, bigger than last Saturday's so I guess I'll be contacting a urologist this week. But needless to say, this is why I have not been around. I am doing SO much better! Thank you Lord for giving me relief through this surgery! My sweet boys have been so good. The only thing is that Collin still has not pooped on the potty yet, and I am sure after hearing me crying on the potty, so much lately that has not helped the case! I am ready to be happy and healthy again! So to those of you I have not been in contact with lately, now you know! I'll be calling you soon....and hopefully we can talk about something other than my anal issues:). Please know that I have edited and edited this post for fear of offending, so I hope it came across in a somewhat tasteful way! I am looking forward to a much better week. I had not asked our church for prayers or anything like that because I could not get past the idea of someone announcing that Carrie Brown had an Anal Fissure and might need a Sphinctorectomy from the church pulpit. I could just hear the auditorium erupting in fits of laughter...and so that is why. But I did have a few of you praying for me. So thanks for the prayers. And I then found out that my parents had told their small group and people at my dad's church, and extended family members so now more people do know. Sort of embarrassing but I guess the prayers did help. Just a great example of how God has a good sense of humor! Now at least I've documented for the Brown Chronicles! Happy Memorial Day weekend!
CB

Sisters...

A few weekends ago I went to visit my sister Lorie in Mobile for the weekend. I was so glad to get to see her! We always have so much fun together! Since we had been in Calgary, I had not yet gotten to see her first house or even go to her church and meet the people that she is around. I was glad to finally get to do this. We always have fun just hanging around really not doing anything but cracking ourselves up. We ended up spending most of the weekend acting out funny scenes for pictures for a book that we made for our mom for Mother's Day. So, in the below pictures most were acted out for a reason that told part of the story in the book...We had certainly had fun doing it! I remind my sister that I used to pray for a sister all of the time and I asked God to give me one. I am so glad he did! Don't get me wrong, I love my brother too! And I am blessed to have him as well. But for some reason I felt at the age of 8 that I desperately was going to need a sister...and I did!!

My grandmother, who I call 'Ma' is having one of her sisters come up to visit her this next weekend. Her sister lives far away from her and they hardly ever get to see each other. I think the last time they saw each other was when they went to visit one of their other sisters right before she died.  She is so excited to see her sister and she insists that instead of staying at my parents with her sister there as well, she would rather her sister stay with her in her little one bedroom assisted living apartment. They are having a little elderly persons girls' weekend! I understand how excited she must be! The sad thing is that it is most likely this will be their last visit together. My little 'Ma' is hanging on, but since my grandfather passed away in December she is ready to go meet her Maker, and to be reunited with my grandfather. She still recognizes people but is slowly slipping away mentally and sleeps  for a good part of the day thinking that my grandfather talks to her from the picture she has of him in her living room.  This visit from her sister is the most excited I have heard of her being in a long time. I guess I understand, and if I were in a similar situation, I would be most excited to see my sister as well! I'll have to have my parents take some pictures so I can post one. I hope Lorie and I have many more fun visits together before that last one! This was meant to be a happy post, sorry for the sad tone!
CB

Lovin' my boys on Mother's Day!

I had a great Mother's Day! I got to lay in bed a bit longer than normal, and when I woke up and walked into the living room I was greeted with cards from the boys and Earle and gift certificates! It was so sweet! Earle then went to Panera Bread and got me one of my very favorite treats, one of their Frozen Mochas! I got to sip it as I got ready for church! Earle even vacuumed the downstairs floors and mopped them for me, knowing that I hate mopping them! He also vaccumed and steam cleaned my mini-van! That was so thoughtful! Thanks you boys for being so sweet! These days are going way too fast!! I love you!
CB

Unwritten rules of facebook...what you think most people just know, but some people clearly don't!

Facebook is so much fun! It can be such a good way to connect with people, but it also has annoying points as well. I have been thinking lately...although some of you may think I tote the line with my status updates, etc..I think I actually filter much that comes into my head to post appropriate wording in my statuses...there are so many others who I see that either do not use a filter or absolutely have no clue. This got me thinking. I am pretty sure we have unwritten etiquette rules of FB. So I am going to write down some that I think, and I would love comments on others that you can think of. Some of these are actually based on people I have or have had as friends in the past, but all are just my opinion and of course meant to be humorous.

1.  Don't post creepy profile pictures or people will be scared and they will not friend you.
2.  Don't always write in all CAPITAL letters. This infers that you are a crazy person.
3.  Don't post pictures of your kids and refer to them as, "the brats"
4.  Don't over chat people. When on your fb page, stay "offline". Getting online almost means that you would not mind if the most annoying person that is online chats you up. Although there may occasionally be someone of whom you might want to chat with.
5.  If you friend someone from the past and do not know their spouse at all and have absolutely no connection with them, do not send that spouse a friend request. This would infer that you are a stalker.
6.  Do not use your fb status as an outlet to express your feelings when you are in an argument with your spouse, another family member or a close friend. An example of this is, "I am so angry with Earle! He is such a donkey(other word of donkey)!" So not classy.
7.  Copy and Paste Statuses!! Earle hides people who post these probably more than once. An example, "copy and paste this, if you don't you don't love Jesus or your mom."
8.  Just don't send out application requests on any general basis. It has to be something really good or for a reason if I send them. It is annoying to pile up like 150 app. requests, 100 or whom are all from the same person.
9.  It is okay to ignore friend requests, especially if you have no clue who the person is. If they keep sending the request I would say after the third time, BLOCK!
10. There are many reasons and rules for defriending. Don't defriend a close personal friend(or spouse) that you see everyday just because you got your feathers ruffled. Because you want to REALLY show them how hurt you are. That is stupid. Especially if you know that you will eventually work things out. Do defriend people that you don't know, or anyone who seems inappropriate and you would not want to see your family pictures.
11. Most of the time, any family that you speak to cordially, should be allowed to be your friend on FB. Come on, it is not that exclusive, and when you get right down to it, we are all a little crazy.
12.   I am not sure it is a great idea to post your phone number and address on FB. That does not seem safe...I guess it depends on how broad of a group you decide to accept into your FB business!

Commenters Additions:

13. If you don't want people in your business, don't post it as your facebook status. :)

14. Here is one from a non-fb-er...Don't get mad at someone when they didn't know something about your life when the only place you've broadcast it is on fb. "What!?! You didn't know (interject some major life changing event) I put it on facebook!!!"

15. In a similar vein, don't post overly dramatic status updates, e.g 'I am so ugly' or 'I feel like an idiot'...because when you put that on FB it looks like you're just trying to get as many people as possible to comment 'no you're not, you're beautiful!' or 'you're so smart'...

16.  What bugs me a bit is a status that only a few people actually understand. I'm just annoyed with inside jokes, kinda of clique-y in my opinion. ~MC

I know there will be more that come to mind...these are just a few off of the top of my head. Comment and I'll add yours to the list! Good times and happy facebooking!!