Friday, March 8, 2013

The K.I.N.D System

    I wanted to share with you something new that we are just starting today in our home. Our boys are now the lovely ages of 8 and almost 6. While they are best buddies sometimes, the sibling rivalry can get a bit out of hand at other times.  One of the hardest parts of my job as a mother is teaching my boys certain character traits. One of those is the ability to be consistently kind. This is a hard chore. I think we often assume that our kids should innately know what kindness looks like. Just to say, "Be kind, " seems a bit vague. I find that with my boys, there is not much that I can assume, even if I want to.  So I have tried to come up with a system that helps each child learn how to define what kindness is and what it is not to be kind.  Though the title may be a bit cheesy. I am hopeful that maybe these boys will start learning a new pattern of behavior by trying to focus on the desired behavior.  So here it is, The K.I.N.D. system. There are two parts to it. The System itself, and the journal. Let me know if you decide to embark on the K.I.N.D. journey with us. Each child will need a journal. Also, if you would like a copy of this in word, to modify for your own family, please email me at  Good luck!    ~CB

The K.I.N.D. System

By: Carrie Brown

-A system to establish and maintain a healthy state of kindness in the Brown home.

Keep It Nice Dude

Note: This is not a system of rewards, but a mere system of amiable citizenship in a family. Your rewards are the ability to feel good about yourself by acting kind to others.  Also, by being kind,  you will be able to continue enjoy normal privileges in your daily life.

·        Each brother will start each day with 3 K.I.N.D. points.  The goal is to keep all of those points during the day, and if you lose some points, the goal is to earn them back.

·        If you are unkind to your brother or parent, you will get docked one kind point per infraction.

·        The loss of one point during a day will be a stern and official warning.

·        The loss of two points will be the loss of a greatly desired privilege until the two points are earned back. At that point the brother will regain the lost desired privilege.

·        The loss of three points will result in a 24 hour period(1 full day) loss of a favorite privilege or pass time, but you can still earn kindness points for good measure.

·        You can earn back kind points by being kind to your parent or brother. You can also earn fast service kind points by serving your brother or parent by bestowing on them a selfless act.

·        Certain extreme infractions will be considered a 3 point loss such as:

Hitting, kicking or physically hurting your brother in any way that is not an accident. Other large acts are yet to be defined in this category but will be left to the subjection of the parents.


Keep it Nice Dudes!

Remember, nice dudes are happy dudes.


Love,   Mom
The K.I.N.D System Journal
By: Carrie Brown
The purpose of the K.I.N.D. System is to promote the desired behavior of your child.  In this case the desired behavior is being kind to others. So in order to promote this behavior, your child needs to be able to identify and define behaviors that are not kind, and behaviors that are kind. We should not assume that our kids instinctively know this. We have to teach them.  This is the whole purpose of the K.I.N.D. journal.
·       In each child’s journal the parent needs to clearly state the rules of the system. This can be as easy as printing it out and attaching it to the back of the cover of the notebook.
·       The first entry should happen right after you explain the rules of the system. Each child should write out the date and their top five privileges and pass times for that date. You will need to do this every couple of weeks because this variable constantly changes, and certain things become more important or less important to your child.
·       The child should date each day. And write in 3 points on that date.
·       Every time your child gets a point deducted he/she needs to write -1 and explain how they lost that point.
·       Also, as each point gets earned back, the child must write down how he earned back the point.
·       If you child has a 3 point infraction, of course have them write down what they did, but also the time of day it occurred, because this starts the 24 hour process of loss of privileges.
·       Also, have children write down any points earned back by fast service and selfless acts.

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