Such a time as this...

Well, I have had writers block. I am doing a bible study on Esther and today I ran across a verse that I simply could not get out of my head. I think the writers block has a bit to do with just being busy, but also, with trying to organize my thoughts to make sense of my current setting. Plain and simple, I think my reflective state sort of pauses me sometimes until I can figure out what in the world I am sorting out. In a way this extroverted girl becomes quite introverted at times.  My friend Brandi would put this post in her, "Deep Sheez" category. :)
 It has been fantastic being back in Texas. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and blessings by the fact that we were able to move back here, and also by the fact that I know if we would have not been where we have been over the past five years, I would not be the same. I remain so grateful for the things I have learned and the people I have been blessed to know in our time away from Houston. I can't imagine being without some of those sweet people in my life and I cannot imagine being the same me, if that makes any sense at all. 
It feels a bit strange to me trying to be able to balance some things out. I have been blessed to have some second chances. What I mean by that is that I am blessed to live near a few of my close friends yet again. It is also great to be making some new friends. I know God has a plan in this. I am happy to have these second chances but also sad that I don't have the second chance with others. I know that God brings people together for his plan for a reason, so I am excited to see what unfolds in this plan of His.
Earle and I have chosen to place membership at a church near where we live that we are excited to be a part of. So that is great, but we still have connections with the church that we attended when we lived here before which we feel like was such a huge part of nudging us into being who we are today. It feels good, but hard to balance trying to have two hands and a foot in one church and yet a foot is still holding us up in the other. Kind of a weird feeling but a good one knowing that God uses our experiences that are united in Him to make us stronger and to encourage us. Just trying to be led by the Spirit in these things. But I have to say, still a bit confused by it all and an overwhelming since of blessings.
Back to the verses in Esther.  Esther 4: 12-14....
  ~  When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer, "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come into a royal position for such a time as this?"~

This last part in verse 14 really hit home with me. I can think back to circumstances over the past few years that I have felt that way exactly. Circumstances that I felt called to get involved and take a stand or an action. Questions would run through my head as to why we were there, etc. It seems like anytime we are called to a situation like this there is quite a bit of anxiety experienced and courage needed to follow through.  I guess I am a bit apprehensive to see what is awaiting ahead of  me and what God might call me or our family to do. I also pray that I can be courageous enough to answer the call, when God may want to use me. In my experience, these circumstances are never very pleasant. I also think to wonder how many times God has been calling me and I have chickened out.  In a nutshell, I hope I am ready for such a time! I am a little apprehensive!! Maybe just my mood at the moment. But I strongly believe that nothing is coincidence. So chew on that I guess!!
CB